When I was considering e-books dealing with adultery, Break Free From the Affair was the e-book that seemed most accurate, authoritative, ethical and in harmony with my own convictions. Another e-book, The Anatomy of an Affair might be helpful if it seems the marriage cannot be saved and is headed for divorce, but I would much prefer to recommend this e-book first. I saw a few others as well but some involved the occult and new age spells and others were focused on techniques of seduction and manipulation. But, this e-book seemed to be the most effective one in helping a severely damaged marriage get back on track after an affair.

Recommended Reading: 1,000 Questions for Couples

How mature and faithful is your church in preparing its couples for marriage?

Most pastors take some courses and require at least a little premarital counseling, but often a brief presentation or two or three is not sufficient to make sure the couple are sufficiently and responsibly prepared for marriage.

There is a common belief that if a church blesses a marriage, then it is legitimate and holy. But, is it?

Recommended Reading: 50 Secrets of Blissful Relationships

Flirting is fun within marriage, but it always very destructive to a family when flirting takes place outside the marriage.

When we flirt with our spouses, that's a great thing to do. When we flirt with our spouses, we help affirm their self-worth and let our spouses know they are desirable to us. When our spouses flirt with us, we should never put them down or upbraid them, but we should find creative ways to flirt back. That's a good thing. People fall in love with those who make them feel good about themselves.

But, flirting outside marriage is deadly. Unwise people do not realize flirting is a mating dance -- a way of attracting a mate. There is nothing wrong with loving our brothers and sisters at church and affirming their self-worth. But, true love will flee the appearance of infidelity or anything that would cause one's spouse misery, jealousy, and insecurity.

My recommendation regarding expressions of affection to members of the opposite sex is simply this: Cut off all expressions of affection to unrelated members of the opposite sex including inlaws and anyone who might possibly cause some discomfort to your spouse until your affection of love to your spouse is so sincere and deep that your spouse feels totally secure with you and would feel blessed to see you express affection to other people. In short, if you're going to hug a person of the opposite sex or kiss on the forehead to comfort, do it in the presence of your spouse for the purpose of pleasing your spouse and comforting someone your spouse loves very dearly, too.

Beyond that, be cautious and honest with yourself. People can feel a sense of warning and guilt and know in their hearts that there is something wrong with their motives. They can tell if they're testing the water for something more. They can tell what they would do given the chance if they could get away with it. And, if there is any trace of that feeling inside, just be wise and create a distance between yourself and that person.

And, don't feel guilty. Don't blame yourself or let the devil make you feel guilty for doing that. Protecting another person from temptation can be a most loving thing to do, and you don't have to do it unkindly or unlovingly. You can do it out of concern for that person, for your spouse, for your children, for setting a good example to others, and so on.

Having said this, I want to talk about feeling some spouses have of being smothered by a supposedly overly jealous spouse.

Recommended Reading: 50-secrets-blissful-relationships

People fall in love with those who make them feel good about themselves.

That truth can be life changing. Think about it. If you criticize your spouse, your spouse's heart is likely to close off to you. Chances are your spouse won't even want to get your message. If you criticize more harshly or publicly or in front of your kids, you can expect a good amount of misery in return.

If you talk to a divorce lawyer or read what most of them write, you may find yourself told that in your state you have the right to get a divorce for any reason. It's the law.

But, just because our government says we have the "right" to divorce without cause does not make it so.

Almost every wedding ceremony we hear in church quotes the scripture in Genesis that says "whatever God has put together let no man put asunder".

It doesn't just say, "don't put marriages asunder"; God asks us not to "let" people put marriages asunder. And, yet, how can we stop them from doing so? Don't people have the freedom to end their marriages if they want to?

I think what the scripture is saying here is that we should not let our brothers and sisters end their marriages with our support and approval. That doesn't mean we should be mean, condemning, and judgmental. But, if we want to see our brothers and sisters in heaven, we need to get clear on some issues, and one of those is the sanctity of marriage.

Note: Darren Mack, accused of killing his ex-wife and shooting Judge Charles Weller who presided over his divorce case, was captured in Mexico and is facing charges.

Ironically many people defend and even support Darren Mack because of abuses and injustice suffered by him, abuses many feel is all too common in America's family court systems for which there is growing anger.

Some feel this problem is unavoidable as judges must decide between two people conflicting over deeply sensitive and emotional issues, issues requiring a winner and a loser. Others try to explain it by saying people like Darren Mack are bad spouses and bad parents and deserve to be divorced.

How many of us wonder what effects soap operas have on marriages.

If you felt that soap operas were as harmful to families as pornography, would you commit yourself to avoiding soap operas, and would you stand by that commitment?

One of the controversies regarding prayer has been over how and when God answers prayer.
And, this has some relevance to the saving of marriages.

For awhile, something called "Positive Confession" became popular in some Christian circles and detested as heretical in other Christian circles.

Sticks and stones can break my bones
but words can crush my heart...

That isn't how this verse normally goes, but it is probably much more truthful this way.